It’s not an original thought to point out that I was absolutely insufferable in my 20s. Most of us were—especially if we devoted our life to artistic pursuits. I look back on myself in those years with exasperation, annoyance, and more than a little disgust.
I was also exasperated, annoyed, and more than a little disgusted with the protagonist of Zoe Dubno’s debut novel. Happiness & Love. That’s by design—she’s an aspiring writer in her 20s. And the book is very true to that experience. I
t’s told in one breathless paragraph detailing a single dinner party, with our narrator returning to New York City after an extended European trip. Partially against her will, she is re-entering her social circle of aspiring artists and socialites. She is absolutely disgusted with all of them, and herself, but she doesn’t see any other way forward.
With all the adjectives that I deployed in the first three paragraphs, it might surprise you to learn that I really enjoyed Happiness & Love. The main character is as identifiable as she is insufferable, and she at least has the good sense to know it.
I recommend the audiobook version of the book, which is read by the author. I don’t dare to guess how much of the book is based on her own experiences, but the tone of her voice and the weariness she brings to the narration feels very authentic to the story.
Maybe you’re reading all this and wondering “why the hell would I want to spend a bunch of time with an insufferable young artist?” That’s a fair question. But the odds are good that if you’re older than 30, you’ve already spent a decade with an insufferable young artist.
Happiness & Love is a portrait of one such wretched soul who is on the cusp of becoming something new. In getting to know her, for maybe the first time in my life, I felt a little bit of grace for the absolute menace that I was back then. That’s no simple feat.